19 day late update

*************this was made yesterday***************

Sitting here with my coffee. Relaxing before work. I'm just realizing how much different this new one will make life. Crying, constant pooping, tired arms, tired body, tired mind...wait that sounds like Todd..

Seriously though, i cant believe I'm going to do this again. I'm so excited yet so nervous at the same time. Because not only will a new one make things more crazy, I'm making a life changing decision.

I will officially be a SAHM. Stay At Home Mom. Financially it makes the most sense. With two kids in daycare I would be bringing home about $4 - $10 dollars a week. And that's just after paying for day care. Not filling up my tank to get to work or any extra money for bills. I did everything I could to see if we would qualify for any government help. But with Todd's income and with Gavin's death benefits it adds up to too much. That sucks. Even with three kids and just one parent making the bucks we still don't qualify for anything.

Arrgh.

******today's posting***************

On a higher note my belly is starting to get large and very very round. I finally started to stop losing weight and start gaining it. I never thought as a plus size woman i would ever say I wanted to gain weight. Marianna has started to really show. Last night I put the remote on my stomach and it balanced. Oh and the kicker, I didn't even realize i had taken advantage of my protruding stomach. I cant bend over straight anymore. Shessh I remember that with Gavin. I had to do the curtsy bend, turn my legs sideways and twist down.

As far as finding a Pro Bono Doula, things have progressed in this area. We have a meeting with one on Monday and I have to email a few ladies back. I pimped out Todds wonderful computer services as something to barter with. I know beggars cant be choosers they say but I really mentally need to find someone who has done a water birth before. I would make me so much more at ease knowing that she has truly done all of this before. We are super cleaning our house though to get ready for her visit. Not that I expect her to go roaming through our house but still i don't know if she would want to pop her head in the baby's room or a room that is cluttered. Since I will be mostly laboring at home Its prolly a good idea we start cleaning now so i can moan and scream in whatever room i please! Its too early in the morning to continue on. I thin I'm going back to bed and I think I will finish later.

My Doula Letter

*I have been researching doulas like its the hottest thing around latley and have decided to email every doula in the Dayton area and tell them my story. Todd and I really cant afford one so im hoping that this letter with empower a doula to help us for little or no cost!!*



Hello,
my name is Lizz and I found your information on Doula Network. After reading your listing I was interesting in speaking with you.
I am a mother one and step mother of another. I was born and raised in Cincinnati. I had my first son at University hospital. I was induced after being late 4 days. I knew even before becoming pregnant that I wanted little or no medical intervention. Unfortunately I was put on Pitocin after my cervix had not softened after 12 hours. After having Pitocin my contractions became very hard and rapid. My sons father was there the whole time helping me get through the pain. After hours of hard contractions I finally gave in to systemic pain medication. After 21 hours of labor I finally had my baby boy. Almost immediately after the midwife put him on my chest I began to shake. I had to have someone else hold my newborn son until I stopped shaking. I couldn’t believe that after all that hard work I couldn’t even enjoy the first moments with my son. It was heartbreaking. I vowed that the next child I gave birth to would be completely natural (as much as possible if no complications). I wanted to be there completely for my child.

Now after three years I have gotten married and started my life long journey. My first sons’ father sadly died in a horrific car accident 2 months after he was born and I never thought I would be where I am today. I met my husband through my sons father and we connected on so many levels it still amazes me to this day. We found out shortly before our wedding that we had already started on a new addition to the family. Now 7 months later we are expecting and beautiful baby girl (the first girl!!). We are expecting her arrival around April 6th and watching anxiously as the days get closer and closer. Like I mentioned earlier with my first son, I had a midwife. I felt that all midwifes felt strongly as I did concerning natural birth. I now know this not to be true. It is up to me and my partner completely. When deciding on my way of birth for this little one, I was drawn to water birthing. My husband is nervous for me to have an at home water birth so I will be giving birth at Good Samaritan Hospital at the birthing center. After researching immensely on water birthing, I came across doulas. I knew what the word meant but couldn’t define it for the life of me. Now after researching Doulas, I have decided that having one at my daughter’s birth would be a tremendous help, not only for me but also for my husband. We both have had pervious children with others and want to make this one special and completely about our communication in stressful times. His previous son was delivered emergency C-section and I have already described my first experience. I want to be able to show my husband and I that pregnancy is not an illness, Labor is not an emergency, and birth is not a medical procedure. I believe in all of this and hope that with a chance to seek out the right doula for us, we can withhold our beliefs
Thank you, Lizz Arnett

"I need to watch Football with daddy"

Even after work everyday, this is what i live for. After standing for 7 hours, moving stupid clothes around and helping helpless customers...my life is satisfied. I could have such an exhausting day but this makes it all worthwhile. I cant wait to raise a daughter from scratch with this man.

...And then the greatest end.....

Butt Nerve & Braxton Hicks

So my body is defiantly in pregnancy mode. On high. Yesterday at work i noticed starting around 3pm my upper left butt cheek started to cause me pain. not so much a piercing pain but more of a throbbing. I thought "sweet i pulled a muscle." So i started to think how i would bribe Todd into giving me a massage when i got home. Then when walking to the front of the store, my left leg almost gave out. The pain went from my butt check all the way down to my ankle. It quickly went away but my whole leg and butt cheek was sore. "What the HELL could that possibly be?" This went on and off for a few hours. I started talking to one of my associates about my "butt" pain and how weird it felt. She quickly let me know what was really going on. "Sciatic Nerve" she said. A huge question mark was smack dab in the middle of my face. Apparently no matter how big the baby is he/she can somehow cause you this type of pain. Ok so not fun. The baby can roll around and end up sitting on a nerve that causes a super huge pain in your rear end. Great. Shes already a pain in my butt. And I say that with all the love I have for my daughter.

Yesterday after work i decided to make meatloaf and mashed potatoes etc. for dinner. So i hurry up and made everything. Then got the meatloaf in the oven and started on loading the dishwasher. After that task i proceeded to wash the large pans that didn't fit in the dishwasher. During this time I suddenly felt like my stomach was trying to do crunches. I dropped my dish brush and "hummed" to myself. Not like hum singing but hum like hummmm what is that? It went away after a min. So i continued with the large skillet in my sink. But then again it came back. This time worse and harder. HUM. These aren't contractions....are they? I seriously couldn't remember if they were or not. With Gavin the only contractions i had were with Pitocin at the hospital so didn't have anything to compare these to. Ok i thought just let me finish the dishes, then clean up around the kitchen while the meatloaf cooks. Well i tried to do this but every so often i felt my stomach and whole "frontal" region tighten. At one point i even had to do a breathing countdown exercise to calm myself down. No no no. This isn't right. So i went at diagnosed myself via the Internet. Braxton Hicks i concluded. As long as I had no back pain and the contractions weren't becoming constant and harder or closer than 12 mins apart everything was fine. But really it wasn't. I never had any inkling of natural labor with Gavin. After being put on Pitocin i was doing things natural but the contractions were Pitocin induced. Now this was weird for me. I feel like my body is ready for this next one. "We are on red alert. Go forth and conquer this baby thing....wait WAIT no no not just yet. She needs another 3 months to snuggle and get big and strong. But im ready." Whew if my body is so ready to take this baby on then why isn't my mind yet? I need to get reading my NCB books and water birthing articles. Oh and schedule my birthing classes. Oh and the sibling class, or and a hospital tour. Shot and finalize my birthing plan. But as im doing all this and working 40 hrs a week AND still playing full time mom and wife, my body needs to rest so these Braxton Hicks don't staring turning into real contractions. Rest? I can barely spell that. The only rest i get is Blogger. And even then my FINGERS get tired. Shesh.

Open for discusssion

Could someone tell me why my husband ( or i ) would want to know the "exact" reason his ex didnt pick up the phone when trying 2 make arrangements to pick up Taylor? Well she let him know when he dropped Taylor off. "Oh" she said, "if u wanted to know why I didnt pick up the phone earlier, it was b/c Jon (her husband) and I were having relations." Agian please explain to me why he would want to know that.....

NCB....the path i choose

Natural Childbirth

....A method of childbirth in which medical intervention is minimized and the mother often practices relaxation and breathing techniques to control pain and ease delivery.

.... a system of managing childbirth in which the mother receives preparatory education in order to remain conscious during and assist in delivery with minimal or no use of drugs or anesthetics

I believe in both those definitions. I tried with Gavin as much as possible. At first when i found out I was pregnant with him I couldn't even think about having a needle in my back. Or not being able to walk around. But as my pregnancy progressed I realized it was an awakened feeling. I wanted to feel everything. Pain was just part of it. Childbirth was as natural as breathing to me. I felt i could always trust my body and its reactions. I feel the same with this baby.

Now I know plenty of people who do not believe the same thing I do. To them I say I support you. I support any woman who loves her pregnant body. Just having a body that is capable of birthing a child is a miracle to me. Being able to carry a child in your own body for nine months is a challenge. But beating that challenge is one of life's greatest moments.

The Bedding Saga

So continuing the talk about bedding, I think Todd and I have decided we love this. Its cute and fun. Plus I think it would be real easy to trace the monkey and make our own wall stickers. I really like the fact that there is purple monkeys b/c i love purple so much more than pink. We have a few shelves up in Gavins room that we could easily spray purple and of course leave the walls white.. Well except where Gavin drew with crayon.

...but then later i found this...

And this is super cute too. Yes its pink but im ok with this type of pink. The only problem with this is that is only available at Pottery Barn Kids. And the only one in Ohio that is remotely close to either of our families is the one in Kenwood Mall. SO that would definitely be harder to get. Here some more of this one...

And i think after looking at both pictures i am prolly gona go with the first monkey set. I could get cheap sheer purple cutains and kinda make it more purple with odds and end things. Ok so now im excited for this... Now all i need is money......Anyone have any trees? Or Emily do u have any to give out?