Marianna's story Part Two

When Marianna was born she received great Apgar scores.In the first hour it took her awhile to get warm, I was cold and shaking from the shower I took right before giving birth, so she was under the warmer until she got nice and snugly. The nurse listened to her heart, then listened again. "Sounds like she has a murmur but its hard to tell" she mentioned to another nurse. But nothing more was said. The next day Marianna's jaundice levels went up and things were discussed about what to do to flush it out of her system. Feeding her from the breast a lot and keeping an eye on it was the plan. The pediatrician came in later on Sunday and went over her vitals. She listened to her heart...then listened again...then listened even longer. "It sounds like she has a gallop. But i can barely hear it" she said to us. "I will talk to Dr. Ross of Children's Dayton Hospital. He is the Pediatric Cardiologist." So a few tests were ordered. My new baby was sent down to get an x-ray and EKG. Daddy went down with her because I was in no condition to see my baby get poked and prodded. Also an Echo was ordered for Monday. The nurse came in when she got back and took her blood to see how her jaundice was doing. Apparently not good because they felt it best to put her under the lights in an incubator. She had to wear shades to protect her little eyes.

So the plan changed to feed Marianna, put her straight back into the incubator. Then repeat. Plus something was wrong with heart. This was NOT how I pictured our vist to the hospital. A nurse came in late Sunday afternoon almost right after we got her back from doing the tests and said the Echo would be done today. This time I went with Daddy into the nursery. for 30 minutes my baby was gooey with gel and had an ultrasound done of her little heart. At this point in time i really really wish I would have payed more attention to MY ultrasounds so i knew what to look for in hers. Then again my heart was never on the screen, so maybe i couldn't tell what was going on. MA (Marianna) did so well. She only fussed for a little bit but was pretty content.
That evening and early morning was filled with so many tears and tired eyes. There really was only one question on my mind. "What was wrong with my baby?" How could there be something wrong with her? I tried to eat right and was as natural as possible when it came to putting pills in my body. Was it my late high blood pressure that caused this?....So many many questions ran through my mind. No one could even imagine the rate my thoughts were coming.Again I couldn't even hold my baby through all this. It was feed then back in the incubator until her jaundice levels went down. This alone was a heartache and to add on a problem with her heart was even more of an ache.
Early that Monday afternoon we received the phone call that would change so much. I couldn't even answer the phone when Dr. Ross called. Todd did and listened to the news. My beautiful 8lb 8oz baby girl...,the feisty little hiccuppy baby in my belly, had not one but two holes in her little heart. This condition we later learned was called VSD.
What It Is
The septum is a wall that separates the heart's left and right sides. Septal defects are sometimes called a "hole" in the heart. A defect between the heart's two lower chambers (the ventricles) is called a ventricular septal defect (VSD).
When there is a large opening between the ventricles, a large amount of oxygen-rich (red) blood from the heart's left side is forced through the defect into the right side. Then it's pumped back to the lungs, even though it's already been refreshed with oxygen. This is inefficient, because already-oxygenated blood displaces blood that needs oxygen. This means the heart, which must pump more blood, may enlarge from the added work. High blood pressure may occur in the lungs' blood vessels because more blood is there. Over time, this increased pulmonary hypertension may permanently damage the blood vessel walls.

If the opening between the ventricles is small, it doesn't strain the heart. In that case, the only abnormal finding is a loud murmur.

In our daughters case she had two holes. One near the top and a smaller one at the bottom. The "gallop" sound was part of the muscle at the top tear trying to heal its self back down. That gave me some hope. Knowing that my baby was already fighting. The Dr. seemed to think that she was doing already better than expected. Especially since the heart was trying to heal its self already. After finding out this news I'm sure you can imagine the day we had. I wont even describe it.
The next day Marianna's jaundice levels still went up and the pediatrician recommended we supplement with formula along with the breastfeeding. This broke my heart even more. It went on like this until Wednesday. I was so happy to be going home I ran around my room that morning and cleaned like a madwoman. Not under the advisement of my midwife! Now two months, two EKG's, and one echo later, Marianna is two months. She is doing well and things are looking on the right track. She still has these holes in her heart and very well may have this condition for the rest of her life. The goal is to have them close up on their own but even if they don't as long as they don't get any bigger she can do everything normal in life. Soccer at age four? WHY NOT! I'm hoping and praying (?) for a positive outcome. She is progressing like normal though. Even if I try not to let her cry. I wouldn't want her little heart to wear out. It saddens me so. But the main thing to do everyday is to treat her like any other new baby. Hug and kiss the crap outta her!!

Marianna's Birth Story

On Saturday April 4^th I woke up at 7AM feeling slightly off. I was having pains that came over me every 4 minutes. I timed them for about an hour . Sure enough they were contractions. I woke up Todd at told him that I think we were going to have a baby that day, but to go back to sleep and I would call the midwife and see what she thought. I then waited till about 8:30AM until I called. She told me to take a bath then maybe walk around for an hour to see if it really “was” contractions. I called my Doula to see what she thought. She told me to take a shower yes but to maybe call the midwife after that b/c I couldn't talk through my contractions and I had previous high blood pressure. (The midwife on call that weekend was of course the ONE midwife I had never met!). I woke up Todd and told him to get Gavin ready to go to his aunts & uncles house. I then took a nice warm WONDERFUL shower! When I got out and got dressed my contractions I realized were coming even closer. 2 -3 minutes apart and for about 30 – 40 seconds. I called my midwife and Gail (doula) and we headed to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital at 10:30AM. As we started up the elevator to the maternity ward I realized I was having a contraction. I told Todd that when the doors open he needed to stand in the elevator doorway b/c there was NO way I was going to be able to get out. I started to have the contraction and the doors opened. Todd then proceeded to walk out. Leaving me in the elevator...alone. The doors shut and the elevator started down. I pushed the button for the maternity floor and tried to stay calm. The doors opened and a male nurse from the floor below came on the elevator. The contraction ended and I started to laugh. The nurse looked up at me and I said “I was having a contraction and my husband left me on the elevator.” The nurse's eyes got real big and he started to stammer and ask if I was OK and if I needed help and if I knew where I was going. The elevator went up to the birthing center and the doors opened. Todd was right there freaking out and pouring out apologies. I couldn't stop laughing. To me if that was the worst thing that happened to me that day, the rest would be a breeze! We got into triage and the nurse checked me. I was 4 -5 cm dilated and 80% thinned out.

At about 11:30 I got into a room and started my labor process. I was on the birth ball for about a ½ hour then decided to walk. Which in my opinion was the worst idea! I knew it would help a lot but it hurt the worst. Thank god Todd was there for me to hold on to. At about 12:20 my midwife checked me again and I was 5-6 cm dilated and 90% effaced. I went back on the birth ball for another 20 minutes. To me I was just concentrated. I was super hot and felt like puking! But I decided that water would help. So I went into the shower about 12:45. I started to feel a lot of pressure and the midwife thought I might be ready to get in the tub. Around 1pm I sat on the bed and one of the nurses checked me while another one started the tub. I was 8cm dilated and 90% thinned. But something was different. The nurse wanted to make sure the baby's heart rate was strong enough for me to go into the tub since it was warm water. She couldn't find Marianna's heart beat. The midwife took over and smashed that fetal monitor all across my belly. She finally found it and it was very very low. I felt like I needed to start to push and sure enough every time I did her heart rate went dangerously down. At 1:10 the midwife decided to put a internal fetal scalp monitor on Marianna's head. But her heart rate was still low.

Everything suddenly started happening so fast. I heard nurses paging surgeons and calling for iv's. I kept pushing when I needed to and realized I wasn't breathing when I did push. Todd and everyone was yelling at me to breath because every time I would take a breath, Marianna's heart rate would go up. My water had broken as soon as she put the monitor on her head and I had started pushing even harder. Somehow my body knew that she needed to come out right then! Suddenly as fast as ever at 1:18 Marianna was born. As she came out she was holding onto her cord. Silly girl!! They rushed her over to the oxygen cart and she received great Apgar scores. 8 the first minute then 9 at the 5 minute.

As I went over the labor with my doula I realized that I was only in labor for 3 hours and 15min. Wow. So that was my labor story. I have much more to come. We stayed in the hospital until Wednesday. So much more happened.

Arrgghhh to high blood pressure

So yesterday I started feeling bad at work and had my husband come bring me sum protein foods. Well after eating them I simple placed my feet on his legs and mentioned something about my socks being tight. He took off my socks and shoes and low and behold my feet and toes were little sausages! I then decided to call my midwife and she told me to go have my blood pressure taken at a local pharmacy. So when I finally got someone to cover my store (retail manager = can not leave unless another manager comes to take my place) I went down and the pharmacist took my blood pressure twice. 148/93 is what it read. So I called my midwife again and she decided it would be wise for us to come down and have me checked out. Argh. We went home found a sitter for our 3 yr old, threw the bag in the car then went over to the hospital. After being there for 4-5 hrs, peeing in the cup and having my blood drawn they reached a conclusion. The baby was doing GREAT, my placenta was nice and strong for the mild contractions i was randomly having. And I had a lot of white blood cells in my urine. So I went home with a prescription for antibiotics and a whole wasted night. (well the antibiotics were good but other than that....) Now today I went and had my blood pressure checked again. I walked from the car into the tiny pharmacy told them i wanted my pressure checked and went and sat down. He checked my pressure and it was 156/96. Argh. Anytime i move or get up for more than 20 mins i get swollen feet and apparently it raises my blood pressure. I have 9 days left till my DD and I dont know if i can lay down all day! Arrggghhhh.

p.s. Im drinking lots and lots of fluids!, taking it easy as much as I can with a three year old, and staying away from sodium

My husband is pregnant and i need Reddi Whip....

So let me let you in on a little secret.... This right here was the highlight of my day. Pre made chocolate chip brownies with vanilla ice cream and more brownies on top. Drizzled in chocolate syrup. Anyone else hungry? Cuse it was great. Whipped topping would have sealed the deal. But it was still excellent. Now I need a HUGE glass o milk. Ahhh much much better. Seriously I just ran and got a glass of milk and swigged the whole thing. Deluxe! And now on to Todd.

So we recently found out that Todd is also pregnant. He now pees more than any other guy in his department and just the other day he came home and peed twice in 15 minutes. Also he has become more obsessed with food. If that is possible. Last night after our childbirth class on our way out to get Gavin we stopped at Mc Donalds b/c i was really wanting something sweet. Well he also got a milkshake and we started on our trip to his mothers. I was quickly devouring my Mc Flurry ( with EXTRA Oreo mind you cuse i really REALLY needed it) and realized the conversation we had stopped having when we stopped at Mc Donalds was never picked up again. I swallowed about half of my deliciousness in one bite and said to the silence "what are u thinking about hun?" Assuming he was quiet b/c he was pondering what we did in class or how this labor is going 2 be so different.

"well"

he replied

"I was thinking how awesome this strawberry milkshake is and how its exactly what i wanted"

nice. very nice. Now he better not start getting the back pains.

Stolen from Mia's mommy

1. How far along are you? 31 weeks yikes!

2. Are you showing? Yes i can balance things on my belly

3 When did you start showing? ummm i would say a few weeks ago but some would say at least a month ago

4.What is your favorite part of being pregnant? getting that round beautiful tummy and feeling Marianna punch me from the inside....Todd said " getting out of everything...like sex"

5.What is your least favorite part of being pregnant? not being able to breathe and stand up easily

6.Have you picked out names yet? yepp.. i think Marianna Gaia Arnett

7.How much weight have you gained? well i lost 20 lbs and finally this week gained 3 of it back. So -17

8.What is the craziest thing you have experienced? Marianna having a seizure like movement inside of me

9.If you have had an ultrasound ...did it scare you? um no. I just didnt realize the ultrasound tech would say "vagina lips" in front of my other kids

10. What do you crave? cereal and fried noodles oh and chocolate milk

11.Who is your biggest support? Todd when he lifts me up from the couch. He supports me then :)

12.How does your partner feel? nervous as hell b/c we are having this one naturally but we are both excited for another tiny chicken nugget in the house

13. Has your partner gained sympathy weight? prolly but he always likes to eat! :)

14.What is the one major item on your Baby registry? a travel set...we need a new one

15.What is the most unusual thing you asked for?

19 day late update

*************this was made yesterday***************

Sitting here with my coffee. Relaxing before work. I'm just realizing how much different this new one will make life. Crying, constant pooping, tired arms, tired body, tired mind...wait that sounds like Todd..

Seriously though, i cant believe I'm going to do this again. I'm so excited yet so nervous at the same time. Because not only will a new one make things more crazy, I'm making a life changing decision.

I will officially be a SAHM. Stay At Home Mom. Financially it makes the most sense. With two kids in daycare I would be bringing home about $4 - $10 dollars a week. And that's just after paying for day care. Not filling up my tank to get to work or any extra money for bills. I did everything I could to see if we would qualify for any government help. But with Todd's income and with Gavin's death benefits it adds up to too much. That sucks. Even with three kids and just one parent making the bucks we still don't qualify for anything.

Arrgh.

******today's posting***************

On a higher note my belly is starting to get large and very very round. I finally started to stop losing weight and start gaining it. I never thought as a plus size woman i would ever say I wanted to gain weight. Marianna has started to really show. Last night I put the remote on my stomach and it balanced. Oh and the kicker, I didn't even realize i had taken advantage of my protruding stomach. I cant bend over straight anymore. Shessh I remember that with Gavin. I had to do the curtsy bend, turn my legs sideways and twist down.

As far as finding a Pro Bono Doula, things have progressed in this area. We have a meeting with one on Monday and I have to email a few ladies back. I pimped out Todds wonderful computer services as something to barter with. I know beggars cant be choosers they say but I really mentally need to find someone who has done a water birth before. I would make me so much more at ease knowing that she has truly done all of this before. We are super cleaning our house though to get ready for her visit. Not that I expect her to go roaming through our house but still i don't know if she would want to pop her head in the baby's room or a room that is cluttered. Since I will be mostly laboring at home Its prolly a good idea we start cleaning now so i can moan and scream in whatever room i please! Its too early in the morning to continue on. I thin I'm going back to bed and I think I will finish later.

My Doula Letter

*I have been researching doulas like its the hottest thing around latley and have decided to email every doula in the Dayton area and tell them my story. Todd and I really cant afford one so im hoping that this letter with empower a doula to help us for little or no cost!!*



Hello,
my name is Lizz and I found your information on Doula Network. After reading your listing I was interesting in speaking with you.
I am a mother one and step mother of another. I was born and raised in Cincinnati. I had my first son at University hospital. I was induced after being late 4 days. I knew even before becoming pregnant that I wanted little or no medical intervention. Unfortunately I was put on Pitocin after my cervix had not softened after 12 hours. After having Pitocin my contractions became very hard and rapid. My sons father was there the whole time helping me get through the pain. After hours of hard contractions I finally gave in to systemic pain medication. After 21 hours of labor I finally had my baby boy. Almost immediately after the midwife put him on my chest I began to shake. I had to have someone else hold my newborn son until I stopped shaking. I couldn’t believe that after all that hard work I couldn’t even enjoy the first moments with my son. It was heartbreaking. I vowed that the next child I gave birth to would be completely natural (as much as possible if no complications). I wanted to be there completely for my child.

Now after three years I have gotten married and started my life long journey. My first sons’ father sadly died in a horrific car accident 2 months after he was born and I never thought I would be where I am today. I met my husband through my sons father and we connected on so many levels it still amazes me to this day. We found out shortly before our wedding that we had already started on a new addition to the family. Now 7 months later we are expecting and beautiful baby girl (the first girl!!). We are expecting her arrival around April 6th and watching anxiously as the days get closer and closer. Like I mentioned earlier with my first son, I had a midwife. I felt that all midwifes felt strongly as I did concerning natural birth. I now know this not to be true. It is up to me and my partner completely. When deciding on my way of birth for this little one, I was drawn to water birthing. My husband is nervous for me to have an at home water birth so I will be giving birth at Good Samaritan Hospital at the birthing center. After researching immensely on water birthing, I came across doulas. I knew what the word meant but couldn’t define it for the life of me. Now after researching Doulas, I have decided that having one at my daughter’s birth would be a tremendous help, not only for me but also for my husband. We both have had pervious children with others and want to make this one special and completely about our communication in stressful times. His previous son was delivered emergency C-section and I have already described my first experience. I want to be able to show my husband and I that pregnancy is not an illness, Labor is not an emergency, and birth is not a medical procedure. I believe in all of this and hope that with a chance to seek out the right doula for us, we can withhold our beliefs
Thank you, Lizz Arnett

"I need to watch Football with daddy"

Even after work everyday, this is what i live for. After standing for 7 hours, moving stupid clothes around and helping helpless customers...my life is satisfied. I could have such an exhausting day but this makes it all worthwhile. I cant wait to raise a daughter from scratch with this man.

...And then the greatest end.....

Butt Nerve & Braxton Hicks

So my body is defiantly in pregnancy mode. On high. Yesterday at work i noticed starting around 3pm my upper left butt cheek started to cause me pain. not so much a piercing pain but more of a throbbing. I thought "sweet i pulled a muscle." So i started to think how i would bribe Todd into giving me a massage when i got home. Then when walking to the front of the store, my left leg almost gave out. The pain went from my butt check all the way down to my ankle. It quickly went away but my whole leg and butt cheek was sore. "What the HELL could that possibly be?" This went on and off for a few hours. I started talking to one of my associates about my "butt" pain and how weird it felt. She quickly let me know what was really going on. "Sciatic Nerve" she said. A huge question mark was smack dab in the middle of my face. Apparently no matter how big the baby is he/she can somehow cause you this type of pain. Ok so not fun. The baby can roll around and end up sitting on a nerve that causes a super huge pain in your rear end. Great. Shes already a pain in my butt. And I say that with all the love I have for my daughter.

Yesterday after work i decided to make meatloaf and mashed potatoes etc. for dinner. So i hurry up and made everything. Then got the meatloaf in the oven and started on loading the dishwasher. After that task i proceeded to wash the large pans that didn't fit in the dishwasher. During this time I suddenly felt like my stomach was trying to do crunches. I dropped my dish brush and "hummed" to myself. Not like hum singing but hum like hummmm what is that? It went away after a min. So i continued with the large skillet in my sink. But then again it came back. This time worse and harder. HUM. These aren't contractions....are they? I seriously couldn't remember if they were or not. With Gavin the only contractions i had were with Pitocin at the hospital so didn't have anything to compare these to. Ok i thought just let me finish the dishes, then clean up around the kitchen while the meatloaf cooks. Well i tried to do this but every so often i felt my stomach and whole "frontal" region tighten. At one point i even had to do a breathing countdown exercise to calm myself down. No no no. This isn't right. So i went at diagnosed myself via the Internet. Braxton Hicks i concluded. As long as I had no back pain and the contractions weren't becoming constant and harder or closer than 12 mins apart everything was fine. But really it wasn't. I never had any inkling of natural labor with Gavin. After being put on Pitocin i was doing things natural but the contractions were Pitocin induced. Now this was weird for me. I feel like my body is ready for this next one. "We are on red alert. Go forth and conquer this baby thing....wait WAIT no no not just yet. She needs another 3 months to snuggle and get big and strong. But im ready." Whew if my body is so ready to take this baby on then why isn't my mind yet? I need to get reading my NCB books and water birthing articles. Oh and schedule my birthing classes. Oh and the sibling class, or and a hospital tour. Shot and finalize my birthing plan. But as im doing all this and working 40 hrs a week AND still playing full time mom and wife, my body needs to rest so these Braxton Hicks don't staring turning into real contractions. Rest? I can barely spell that. The only rest i get is Blogger. And even then my FINGERS get tired. Shesh.

Open for discusssion

Could someone tell me why my husband ( or i ) would want to know the "exact" reason his ex didnt pick up the phone when trying 2 make arrangements to pick up Taylor? Well she let him know when he dropped Taylor off. "Oh" she said, "if u wanted to know why I didnt pick up the phone earlier, it was b/c Jon (her husband) and I were having relations." Agian please explain to me why he would want to know that.....

NCB....the path i choose

Natural Childbirth

....A method of childbirth in which medical intervention is minimized and the mother often practices relaxation and breathing techniques to control pain and ease delivery.

.... a system of managing childbirth in which the mother receives preparatory education in order to remain conscious during and assist in delivery with minimal or no use of drugs or anesthetics

I believe in both those definitions. I tried with Gavin as much as possible. At first when i found out I was pregnant with him I couldn't even think about having a needle in my back. Or not being able to walk around. But as my pregnancy progressed I realized it was an awakened feeling. I wanted to feel everything. Pain was just part of it. Childbirth was as natural as breathing to me. I felt i could always trust my body and its reactions. I feel the same with this baby.

Now I know plenty of people who do not believe the same thing I do. To them I say I support you. I support any woman who loves her pregnant body. Just having a body that is capable of birthing a child is a miracle to me. Being able to carry a child in your own body for nine months is a challenge. But beating that challenge is one of life's greatest moments.

The Bedding Saga

So continuing the talk about bedding, I think Todd and I have decided we love this. Its cute and fun. Plus I think it would be real easy to trace the monkey and make our own wall stickers. I really like the fact that there is purple monkeys b/c i love purple so much more than pink. We have a few shelves up in Gavins room that we could easily spray purple and of course leave the walls white.. Well except where Gavin drew with crayon.

...but then later i found this...

And this is super cute too. Yes its pink but im ok with this type of pink. The only problem with this is that is only available at Pottery Barn Kids. And the only one in Ohio that is remotely close to either of our families is the one in Kenwood Mall. SO that would definitely be harder to get. Here some more of this one...

And i think after looking at both pictures i am prolly gona go with the first monkey set. I could get cheap sheer purple cutains and kinda make it more purple with odds and end things. Ok so now im excited for this... Now all i need is money......Anyone have any trees? Or Emily do u have any to give out?